What an Emo EGGPLANT

Hello Week 25!  Over the next month, Baby Campos will really start to pack on the fat and round out into a 2 pound eggplant.  Like a good little parasite, she's also soaking up plenty of antibodies to help build a strong immune system for when she breaks her lease with the womb.  Not wanting to be selfish by only taking away valuable nutrients, she's also giving back.  Too bad the gift of hormones is making Mommy EMO.

Throughout the day, there's a potential double rainbow of emotions that can be felt.  A bad dream: sad tears.  Disappointing lunch: angry tears.  Folding baby clothes: happy tears.  Shake Weight commercials: confused tears.  It's not like Mommy is a robot when she isn't barefoot and pregnant.  But after spending her "awkward years" listening to The Smiths and more recently experimenting with skinny jeans, you'd think that she'd be more in tune with her feelings.  Sometimes letting it all out is a good thing.  Just not while dining at a restaurant...people might think that Daddy just dumped his Baby Mama.

In this edition of "What's Hot/What's Not," Gossip (Baby) Girl spotlights the latest trend in Hollywood: pregger celebrities.  From Beyonce rumors to Lily Allen announcements, getting knocked up definitely makes you cool!  Well, that is unless you get pregnant before prom.  Because whether you're Jamie Lynn Spears or Quinn Fabray, no matter how popular you are, don't be surprised when your Facebook friend count goes belly-up. (IN: Pregnant Celebrities on TMZ, OUT: Teen Moms on MTV)

OCD and Nesting. Nesting. Nesting...

Around this month, the overwhelming urge to "nest" starts to build.  An almost primal instinct to prep your home for the new addition takes over.  A lot of soon-to-be parents actually find comfort in being able to control at least this aspect of  the pregnancy.  But for a couple like the Camposes, all the cleaning then disinfecting,  measuring then resizing, organizing then resorting, can easily turn into an OCD nightmare.

First thing's first, the home needs to be more baby-friendly.  Over the next few months, all the mystery cabinets will be locked, every deadly-corner padded, and each of the inappropriately designed "smiley face" outlets will be plugged.  But is this death trap really safe enough for Baby Campos?  The next step is deciding what to keep and what to get rid of so that there's ample space for a growing baby.  Maybe Daddy really doesn't need to keep those golf clubs from high school.  Or perhaps Mommy could donate some of the several dozen pairs of shoes filling the closet.  Can the beer pong table be used as a changing table?

No matter how obsessed we can get with all this nesting, the whole process really makes you sift through the things in life to see what's really important.  Once we finally got the crib up (which Daddy and Grampa Campos triumphantly built), we figured that maybe the things worth keeping should all be able to fit inside.

Hmmm, maybe we need a bigger crib?

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bump

"I've noticed that the side effects of pregnancy are greatly amplified: the morning sickness, the mood swings, sleepiness, sexual appetite.  Yesterday, just scooping the middle out of a honeydew melon gave me a huge...well it turned me on."
~Arnold Schwarzenegger, JUNIOR (1994)

With so many new and strange things going on inside a mother-to-be's belly, it's easy to get overwhelmed with worry.  Most questions can be answered by your doctor, a baby book, or even a know-it-all relative, but there are just some things that only a Mommy and her little parasite can relate to.  So at what point do you really start to embrace your pregnancy?

The Epiphany happened when Baby Campos was big enough to make noticeable movements.  The tingly sensation of gas bubbles suddenly became Billy Blanks Tae-bo workouts.  There was a definite sigh of relief to know that she was finally moving around.  Over the next couple of weeks, this spunky girl became a "mood ring" for what Mommy was feeling:

eating a donut = belly high fives

listening to loud music = happy feet

greg davis plays = headbutting the bladder

Even though there will be plenty of back aches, leg cramps, and general discomfort down the road, you have to learn to really enjoy being pregnant.  Because each new experience with this little girl just means that there will be one less thing to worry about, and one more reason to fall in love with this BUMP!



If Mama No, Then PAPAYA

This bump is really starting to show now!  During Weeks 22-24, Baby Campos will plump up to about 1.5 pounds  and grow to the size of a papaya.  It's funny, this exotic fruit from our neighbors to the south  (or unwelcome immigrants if you live in Arizona) is often called "pawpaw" in Spanish.  Hmmm, could that be this little chica's first word?

Whichever name she utters first, Mommy and Daddy already know what the dynamic will be in this family.  Call it Good Cop/Bad Cop if you must, but most parents inevitably have to decide which role to play.  Can you guess who'll be the disciplinary and who'll be the pushover?  When it comes to getting her way, there's no doubt she'll quickly learn that "Mama, No" and "Papa, Ya." 

After a brief career, Baby Swami has decided to retire and focus more on watching Texas Football.  Not to worry, our new weekly correspondent, Gossip (Baby) Girl, is here with updates and insight on everything Hollywood.  First up, season premieres!
While most channels are on parental block, this little critic still caught some of her favorite shows.  GLEE performed better than COMMUNITY, and MODERN FAMILY was more lovable than PARENTHOOD.  Does that mean high school will rock more than college?  Is a funny dysfunctional family better than one with drama?

Anyway, be sure to also tune in every week for the "what's hot/what's not" picks, sponsored by In-N-Out.  (IN: Sharktopus, OUT: Lone Star)